Entry #9

Ok, just gotta share the most beautiful experience I had with my daughter Bella.

This one's especially for all the mommas! :)

But of course, gotta give you a little background...

Lately, my family has been going through a really hmmmm interesting, tough, stretching, honestly unsure season.  About 6 months ago, we felt the Lord was leading us to move on from some places where we had become very happily contented and comfortable.  Mainly, our church home for 8 years.  We spent about 2 months dialoguing what this could possibly mean and where we were headed if not here?  During those 2 months, I was constantly remembering a plaque my mom always had up in our home...."Sometimes faith isn't faith until it's all your standing on."

It felt like not only were we being asked to go out on a limb but then saw it off!  Gotta be real....YUCK!   I was desperate to at least have SOME inkling of understanding of where we were headed before we left.  Yeah, no such luck.

So lots of details left out...for the past 4 months we have been doing church very unorthodox for this clan.  Some weeks at home, some weeks in living rooms with close friends, some weeks just accepting that we had been doing CHURCH all week and there was no need for a Sunday morning checkmark (This one was probably the toughest challenge to my religous thinking!)

The reason I share this is not AT ALL to discourage 'organized' church.  It's just that for this season He has called US to be comfortable with HIM and small groups of fellowship.  

Well, one of our biggest challenges has come from the peace of mind that  'children's programs' had always brought us.   I realize that daily I mess things up with my kids but this was an area I REALLY didn't want to handle wrongly!  A few times over the past few months we have loaded up the kiddos and gone church visiting to see how God is moving in so many beautiful ways around our city.  But I must admit, as we would drive out of those parking lots, deep inside I could feel an "Ahhh, my kids were IN church today, no worries!"  Silly I know, but honesty rocks, right? :) 

So, YESTERDAY....my sweet sweet Bella is watching a movie with me when out of nowhere she goes, "MOM, I've got a great idea!  I'll be RIGHT back!"  And off she ran.  I was like, "Uh oh, what now?  We already made flour and water nasty GREEN cookies today, what next?"  

What happened next literally left me beautifully speechless...

Bella reappeared carrying 2 green cookies and a sippy cup with water.  She proudly announced, "Let's have communion!"  

So there we sat on her brother's bed and after we took a bite of these YUMMY ( wink, wink) cookies she says, "Thank you Jesus for how much you love us."  Then handed me the sippy cup, signaling I should take a drink, and said, "Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross for me!"  

And that was it.  The most beautiful, non-religious, child-like communion I've ever been graced to participate in.

Then she whispered to me, "Don't get me wrong, I like the juice at churches but my cookies are much better than their bread."

We love you Jesus and thank you for teaching us through children.

Entry #8

Disclaimor: this outta be a dangerous post.....I usually wait at least 24 hours for the fog to clear b4 writing about our adventures together!  

Tonight was amazing with the kids.

Gonna let u in on a little secret we aren't telling them...

We are preparing to build a little God house in our backyard.  Big vision....it will be mightily used in the 24/7 prayer movement that is spreading like wildfire and bringing communities together all over the world.

So for the past couple weeks, my husband and I have been patiently waiting on God to give us some vision for this project.  (I'm famous for full-steam ahead...blowout....hence the reason God matched me with a detail guy, ugh! ;)  We've had lots of late night talks, time praying together, etc and just kinda sitting on it till we felt it was time to begin.

Last night, as we were praying about what step #1 would look like and what to tell the kids, it was pretty darn cool to see how God unfolded some understanding for us.  

See if u can relate...

I'm a total visionary at heart.  Guess I get that from my dreamer dad.  That can be an enormous gift when u surround yourself with detail/management people, but more often than not I just see a vision and get so stirred up about getting started that I suddenly have 20 people standing around me going, "Dang, Julz, it's gotta be good if you're this excited about it!  Start sharing and we're here to help, point us in the right direction!"

"YIKES!  Didn't really plan this one out guys, don't u just see the big picture?!"  

Yeah, not so good.

So, as Chris and I were praying last night, (Don't get any lofty visions of that in your head....we were practically passed out across the playroom floor after the kids crashed and turned our lethargy into a great opportunity to pray....funny how God honors that! ;)  well, God did!  

He started showing Chris, much to my immediate frustration, 

"One STEP at a time.  Don't get ahead of me."

Tonight's agenda....

Make stepping stones that will lead up to the prayer/God house.  Don't even go into the whole house part, just dialogue about times God has asked u to do something.  Ouch.  That doesn't include my typical RUNNING down a trail full speed does it?  

We had the kids come and cook for each other...which went amazingly well and then made some rockin' stepping stones while listening to some rap music.  Pretty fine time indeed.

So the question I pose to you is the same stinkin' (I mean beautiful!) question He's asking me...  

What did I ask you to do last?  

Doing it?

Thinking about it?

Procrastinating it?

Intimidated by it?

Need more info before you take it?

Yeah, lately I'm doing a lot of sorting out His voice from the enemie's taunts and I'm thinking there are some steps He's waiting on me to take.  

I'm sure I'll let u know how it goes! :)

Love ya!

Entry #7

Ownership.

Lately, I'm trying to wrap my silly little head around that one.

Can someone really appreciate/respect something they feel they have no 'ownership' in?

I'm thinking not.

If you ever find yourself reading this blog for answers to life, bless your heart!  

I seem to know only one, Jesus.  

Past that, I'm figuring it out as I screw it up! :)

So, here's what got me thinking along these lines...

Last week we (my hubby and I) made a major 'shift' in our approach to loving on these kids.  (That sounded like a stinky agenda)  Guess you could just say, what we were doin' wasn't workin' and we decided to change things up a bit.  

Sure we were loving the snot out of these kids, taking them all sorts of fun and crazy places, but something was missing.  

Reality.

My kids....Ethan, Bella, and Isaiah, know I love them because they get to see me respond to them in so many different ways....wish I could say they were all positive but yeah, not so.  Tonight I made a new rule with my kids....

NEW RULE:  There is no need to say "MOM!" before you speak.  Just speak.  It seems that by the 156th time I hear mom in a day - I go mental.  Now I may regret this decision when everyone is blabbing away but you know, I'm figuring this parenting thing out....I received no 'certificate'! :)

So, just like that, my kids will get to see me sort through that rule.  Keep it, forget it, modify it, pull my hair out, whatever.  That is reality.   

Where am I going with this?  Glad u asked.  (You have no choice, you aren't here while I'm typing! )

Family.  It's messy.  It's very involved.  It's amazing, frustrating, hillarious, constantly evolving, and a true gift from God.  Today I read something that stood out to me, "God is more about relationships than what any 'one' person may do."  Theology, Sschmeelogy aside, I gotta agree.

If 'loving on these kids' ever becomes something WE do, then it really isn't worth doing.  Are we concerned with how these kids are responding or feeling about our times together...good and bad?  Do we want to play a REAL part in their lives or entertain them?  We are opting for the former.

Now, what does that look like?  We have some ideas that I'm certain we'll have to 'work out' together but I gotta say, they excite me.

Curious?  Well,  we are making the 'norm' meeting place our home, extending our time together, taking turns cooking meals for one another, doing homework, and yes, we plan to exploit their child labor while they're here and do some work around the house, ha!  

But finally I'm getting back to my opener.....ownership.

I believe some of these ideas will lead them to feel more ownership in our family and this thing called love.  I'm believing more importantly they will know Him in deeper ways through this too.

So, there you have it.  No answers.  Just a chick tossin out some facts about where I am.

Oh, and the next post:  designing and building a prayer shack in our back yard.  Dont worry, we aren't calling it a 'prayer' house to them....we are counting on God to spin this 'ownership' thing into that. :)

Much love.