2010

It's almost 2010.

We are more than excited about what God has in store! This year has brought us so many unexpected challenges. In January, one of our sweet kiddos was killed in a senseless drive by shooting right here in Tulsa. 15 years old. Kordero had such talent, love and a bright future in front of him. Now he is living the ultimate adventure in heaven. His family is still trying to pick up the pieces, heal and move forward. Please pray for his mother when you think of it. Since his death, she has been having such an understandable hard time. His best friend and brother, was at his side when this tragedy happened and has been deeply affected. The two youngest children of this family have been living with us for the past several weeks and it has been such a joy to have them. They add so much life and laughter to our home.

Having them here 24/7 reminds us of so many reasons that we feel the Lord is calling our family to open our arms to these kids. For the first week, they were in awe. Their first time to have their own bed. Dinner around a table with everyone present. Homework completed before fun and help being offered. Clean clothes to wear to school. And more than anything....a family that was constantly acknowledging that we are nothing without the love, strength and grace of Jesus Christ.

Another one of our kids was in a horrible car accident in March. He was clowning around with a friend and on the hood of a car in a parking lot. In an instant, things went terribly wrong and he was thrown under the car and his skull was run over. He slipped into a coma and the doctors were unsure of this bright 6'4 athletic, brilliant boy's future. After 15 days in a coma, our amazing LORD healed him! Not a little bit, but ALL THE WAY! Within a month, he was working again and had full use of each and every part of his body.

Each week for 2 years now we have been gathering all the kids together in our home for food, fellowship, total goofing off, and then sharing all Jesus is doing. Lately, we've been a bit overwhelmed as the size of our group has grown to over 20 but God has sent us some amazing people with hearts to love on these kids with us. Being a consistent presence in these kids lives has really brought us together as family. We laugh, cry, play, study, and celebrate together.

As I said, we are excited to see what the Lord has in store for 2010! So far, we know that He is leading us to really plunge deeper into smaller groups, focusing on attending THEIR activities.

Often, people say to us, "I just wish I could figure out what God is calling me to do!" You know, we are constantly wishing the same!

But what we are settling into is this....

LOVE. Love those around you. Love them with the same love He makes constantly available to you. We have so many questions. We are constantly wishing we could do more. But we are confident that loving these kids like our own introduces them more and more to the love HE HAS FOR THEM and the amazing future He has planned for them!

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Please pray for us as you are lead. We are constantly dependent on Jesus to make the difference in our time together. Without His Holy Spirit moving in ways that ONLY He knows, we are simply another meeting. But with Jesus present and acknowledged we are believing for changed lives! Theirs, ours, and many future generations!

WE LOVE YOU JESUS!!!!

does God still talk?

does God still talk?

that is what we are asking our kiddos.

what do YOU think?

i think that over the last 2 years i've become so desperate to HEAR HIM talk that I began assuming everyone else was too. as we comfort people around us that are going through all kinds of trials, i'm finding that's not the case.

the other day God put it on my heart to gather 3 teenage girls together and talk about God. not just talk about Him but talk TO Him and listen for what He said back. as usual, one of their comments made me smile so big b/c kids just have a way of saying what most adults don't have the balls to say.

after 20 minutes of just being quiet and listening for God one of them says, "julz, I don't know how to hear His voice." she didn't try to mask it with all the other things she could have said, she just said the truth. in that moment, i realized THIS is exactly how most people feel and exactly how i felt a couple years ago.

can i just tell you that hearing God's voice has practically become like catching my breath. it has so become my source of strength that i get scared imaging what it would be like to not hear Him. didn't David talk about that? i'm going to look up those verses and insert them here.

well, normally i would never write about this for fear that it would sound prideful like, "of course I hear the Lord, DONT YOU?!!?!" oh man, if that is AT ALL what you are sensing, please hear me out.

everyday i still have the internal struggle of deciphering, 'was that ME?', 'was that dream the 5 oreos i inhaled before bed?', or was that God? really i DO! but if you can relate at all to where i was 2 years ago, or where this beautiful honest teen was- i want to tell you what i believe helped me jump into the exhilarating, adventurous, life giving waters that ARE my strength.

i began making a conscious choice to not just believe in my HEAD but also in my ACTIONS the verses that say....

John 10:. ³The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. ⁴When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. ⁵But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice.

so i guess i made a choice...."Lord, i know who You are in my head, but i'm ready to not only know you in my heart but to hear and feel You leading me thru this CRAZY thing called life. i know i'll mess up, i know i'll get off track, but talk to me, teach me Your voice so that i will be more familiar with YOUR voice than any other voice."

wish i could tell you i'm batting 100 but yeah, not so. honestly, what i'm practicing now is learning how to hear Him and then also hear what to do with what He says. when i first started hearing Him, i got so excited i ran all over the place telling anyone that walked by me. now i'm learning that He also wants to show us what to do with what He tells us. whew!

in that honest teen, the beauty that struck me was, "i WANT to hear HIM." i think that has to be first. however, there are people like paul in the Bible that DIDN'T want to hear Him and had no choice but to accept that He is alive and talking. but for most of us, our stinkin world is SOOOOO loud and busy that to hear Him is almost impossible!

the other night we sat down with all the kiddos and i had recorded several different voices saying the same message. on top of the recordings, i also had a tv going, a radio playing, and obviously THEY were making their own fair share of noise. so the first test was, who is voice #1? mind u the kids were talking, the tv was on, and the radio was cranked. as they realized the challenge they were like, 'Turn off the tv, turn down the radio, everyone SHUT UP!' ha.

how true is that for us? FOR ME!

if i desperately want to know what God is telling me to do, do i shut down all those things or expect Him to blast them all out?! this is a daily challenge for me.

let me just close this with what happened to me yesterday.

all day long, i had been wanting to have some time alone and quiet with God but as usual the demands of our world kept crashing in and taking precedent. finally, about 1 in the afternoon, isaiah was sleeping, bella was playing dollhouse, and i had a few minutes before i had to leave to pick up ethan. the laundry was undone, the dishes were everywhere and i was unshowered. i was rushing across the living room when all of the sudden i thought, "stop the insanity! if i dont just STOP, i'll NEVER have time!"

so i was standing in the middle of the living room and my next thought was, "Ok, i'll turn on some music to get 'in the mode' even that was yet another thing to do, find my ipod, pick a song, etc.

so i resisted and just started talking. 'God i NEED You. more than anything i NEED YOU." it's not always like this but yesterday it was, a wave of emotion barreled over me. it had NO guilt in it, no 'yeah, boy, do u ever need ME!', no 'well, do the right thing and then I'm here" it was just, "I'm HERE JULIE!"

honestly, i couldnt even begin to tell you all the things that my heart heard and felt in the next 10 minutes (yeah, i didn't go too deep, ha) but MAN, did it change the rest of my day! it was the reminder that Someone much greater lives outside of our sphere and is available to us 24/7/365. that all i have to do is still myself and listen.

do u crave that? if not crave, do u ever find yourself wishing u had the $ for counseling? man, i know i do! guys, the ultimate Counselor is at your disposal all the time. you don't have to be living right to hear Him. you don't have to 'know how' to hear Him. you just need to recognize your want and be still. i promise, He does the rest. and the cool thing is that He knows each of us in our uniqueness SO well that we each hear Him different. i get pictures. my friend gets verses. another friend usually hears one word over and over. my point is, just begin practicing.

it is a 'fix' you'll never be able to live without again.

i promise.

our summer

wow, it's been toooooo long since I've updated this!  forgive me.  life throws a few curve balls from time to time.

june 30th my dad passed away.  one of my very best friends.  i better not get started or i'll start bawling or preaching but just know, it has been a summer i'll never forget.

in light of that though, it's interesting....

for the past 3 years, i've been walking along doing my very best to follow God's call on my life.  you know, loving those around me, learning to love myself, and to use the gifts God's given me to further His ETERNAL kingdom.  for 2 years now, i can honestly say, it has become pretty obvious that God has given my husband and i an annointing to love on the down and out, especially kids.  so we've altered our lifestyle and done our best to sacrifice comfort for the sake of HIS kingdom and His children.  it had gotten to a place of 'no-brainer'.  i wasn't finding myself contemplating everyday (shallow but true) what my life would be like if i could just be a 'soccer mom'.  all these kids we love on had become a true part of our family and making time for them no longer felt like 'ministry'.  ugh i hate the use of that word most days.  

anyway, on june 30th this year, when my dad died, my world went spinning.  it was such a shock to us that i found myself in literal FROZEN mode.  breathe....just breathe.....that's about all i could think for a couple weeks.  for those 2 weeks we didn't meet with the kiddos and i didn't even call them.  i just didn't have it in me.  honestly, that scared me.  my inner thoughts were like, "oh no, am i losing that part of my life?  will i ever be able to go back?"  while those thoughts scared me, they weren't strong enough to make me pick up the phone and check on them and let them know I was ok.  while i know this is very 'ministry incorrect'.....it was just where i was.  i was barely doing my own 3 kids.  

so, as depressing as all that may sound....i'm genuinely thankful to tell you that the Lord is crazy faithful.  He has truly worked all things together for good.  while i am still grieving my dad and unsure of God's timing in his death, i am witnessing the fruit of drawing closer to God in times of uncertainty.  

week 3 after my dad passed we met with the kids for the first time.  i wasn't sure if i had it in me.  oh the body of Christ is such a beautiful thing.  several people from our house church simply surrounded us and took care of EVERY detail....making it possible for me to just 'show up'.  the kiddos were amazing.  their genuine love, compassion and respect for me and my family during that time showed me just how FAMILY we are.  

it has now been 2 months since my dad's passing.  i'm learning so much about grieving.  i could literally write a book and will spare you, but suffice to say, HIS POWER IS PERFECTED IN OUR WEAKNESS!  

God doesn't NEED me, He desires to be made known thru me.  the good, the bad and the ugly.  human is all i'll ever be but please dont mistake my God, the God inside of ME,  is so much bigger than me.  He is on the move among these kids like never before.  They are HUNGRY to hear His voice.  He is whispering to them and they are listening and responding!  

A long time ago, i wrote a journal entry about what a FAMILY is.  I'm not going to pull it out to quote it but it was along the lines of .....real, growing, loving, hurtful at times, changing, forgiving, imperfect, and belonging.  

that is what i've found.  

by opening our family to include many ages and races we have blessed God and ourselves.   children and adults of all ages that gather together every thursday night have made it possible for God to love me thru this season.  over and over, i had to resist the urge to isolate myself and instead allow myself to be real and needy.  they in all their beautiful ways have proven to me that GOD IS LOVE.

now that i've finally gotten this post out of the way (it was one i procrastinated b/c i was dreading it-ugh) i'll hopefully blog more often.  God is SO on the move among this big family and hopefully it will bring you some encouragement.

if i can leave you with one thing to ponder....

whether you believe it or not, you were created for a PURPOSE.  

there are people around you that WILL be influenced by your life one way or the other. 

i am so thankful that the testimonies of my dad's influence are still pouring in.  

your life is important.  

YOU are awesome.  

you have a DAD that is madly in love with you and available in every moment.

perfection should never be the goal.....

growing closer to HIM should.

the rest works itself out.

May 09

Wow, I have been slacking on the updates, eh? 

So I've realized that the end-of-school schedule is NUTS...especially when u multiply it by 14!!!!  I can't even count the ceremonies, graduations & bday  parties we've been honored to attend!  Such fun but I'm SO not a scheduler and this month has required even ME to keep a calendar!  UGH!  I'm ready for no-school/pool time schedule!  

Just thought I'd give a brief update on what God is rolling around in this silly little head of mine...

Don't get so busy you miss life.

The scriptures about not worrying about tomorrow and how He cares & provides for even the sparrows.... yeah, totally true.  (In case u were wondering! ha!)  Over and OVER we have seen Him come through in the midnight-hour to provide for anything He puts on our hearts.  

Grown ups are SO much more complicated than kids.  Take your shoes off, sit with them, and enjoy what He is doing.

Our garden is in full bloom and I'm amazed how these kids are ok with learning patience in a instant gratification world.  Peas and sunflowers are really amazing to watch grow and lettuce is trying on the patience.

A bored or hungry kid is often destructive.  Give them some food and something they are interested in....and then just sit back and watch.  Beautiful.

Our world may seem to be in chaos but there are some really beautiful people out there LIVING LOVE.  We have to stay focused on our hope and dreams.

It's late and I'm tired.  Before this turns into 'Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy' - I'm signing off.

I love you Jesus.  

Bless ya!

OPPORTUNITY TO BLESS

Hey all :)

I just sent out an email to some people that have expressed interest in supporting the kiddos over the past year.  Thought I'd post it here just in case there are others :)

Let me know if you're interested!  Bless you.....email follows....

Dear Friends and Family!

How about taking a few minutes to be really encouraged?!  I decided an update about all that God is doing with our kiddos is LONG overdue.  So grab a cup o’ coffee and be prepared to smile J!

First and most exciting, about 2 months ago I was baking cookies with Ki’Ara (13) when what seemed out of the blue she says, “Ok, Coach Julz, I’m ready.”  I looked around, “Ooookkkkk?  For what?”  She said, “To pray.  You know…I’m ready for Him to be IN me.”  Just like that!  We scurried around the crazy house looking for a semi-quiet room and right there on Bella’s bunk bed Ki’Ara prayed and asked the Lord to be in her life.  

This is just one example of MANY the Lord has sent our way, to remind us that WE do not PRODUCE the fruit.  We simply plant some seeds and water as long as He allows.  In HIS time and His way, the fruit flourishes.  Praise God!

Not long after that, one of the 16 year old boys came to us asking what he should do when his thoughts are bad.  I shared with him the power of God’s Word for His children and quoted the first scripture that came to mind, “Greater is He that is IN me than he that is in this world!”  Right there on the hood of the minivan, just before we were about to leave, he kept reciting it over and over until he walked off ten feet of the ground and excited to try to this out for himself.    Again, just plant, water , & count on God to take it from there. J

Two weeks ago, we planned a baptism party for Ki’Ara in my parent’s hot tub.  The whole gang gathered and couldn’t wait to celebrate with her.  Unfortunately, Ki’Ara had several really hard things said to her that day at school about her brother’s untimely death and that night her emotions were really strong.  When she broke down in tears, the family (all 20 or so of us! J)  were able to simply demonstrate His love and understanding that the baptism could easily be rescheduled.  She was relieved and is ready to reschedule!   Another girl told her, “I’ll do it with you as soon as I get my weave out!”  Ha!

We are beginning a new project together.  A GARDEN!  Last Thursday planted seeds in flats and hand painted our garden stakes.  I am so excited to see how God uses this experience to reveal Himself even more to these kids.  We are also re-starting construction on our prayer shack!  This week we were given a gift for all of the lumber!!!  We’ve dug a ditch for electricity to be run to it and prepared the foundation.  Inside our little prayer shack we will have bean bags, walls covered in chalkboard paint , art supplies, legos, music and more.  Our hopes are that each of these kids will begin to treasure their time to be ‘alone with God’ expressing themselves however He leads.  Their little worlds don’t allow much quiet and alone time.  Google 24-7 Prayer if you have never heard of this concept.  Upon completion, we would LOVE to open this shack to be filled with 24/7 prayer for hopefully a week by anyone (that’s YOU! J) willing to join us!!!

Just last week we had an unexpected blessing of fruit.  Some of you may have received the email about Kurtis (16).  His brother was Kordero.  Since witnessing the murder of his brother and best friend, Kurtis has been suffering from reoccurring nightmares.  The other night he opened up to us in a very beautiful and transparent way desperate for prayer.  Right there in Braums, the kids all held hands and asked God to give him peaceful rest.  Just as you probably expected the Lord has blessed Kordero with peaceful rest since then!  He told me, “I’m sleeping till 8am without waking up!  And I told God thank you!  I know it was Him who did it!”  Love it.

A couple nights before Easter we stayed up way too late with the kids talking about why we celebrate Easter, why the world celebrates Easter, and how we can thank God for sending His Son and raising Him from the dead so we could have eternal life!  We watched the movie Passion of the Christ and all wept and prayed together.

Chris and I both have really noticed over the past year how much love and discipleship the older boys need.  Because of this, Chris and several guys started taking them bowling every Saturday morning.  They have a ball, make all kinds of crazy bets, and mingle God in all over the place.  He wakes up dragging and comes home 10 ft off the ground :).  The guys seem to be loving it and calling every Sat by 6 AM!!!! to make sure they are still going....ugh! ha

Finally, God has been soooo gracious to send us many, many beautiful people with a heart to bless these kiddos with His love.  Many from our house church and the wind business have been coming on a regular basis and being so patient as the kids grew comfortable with them.  It is so awesome to watch them open up to those that are there simply to share the love of Christ! 

God also sent an amazing administrative friend to me to volunteer her talents!!!  So many of you have volunteered over the past year to bless and support this gathering in any way needed.  This may be just what you are looking for….keep reading just a LITTLE more!

As you can imagine, feeding a group of 20+ every week is quite a task.  My friend has offered to begin a volunteer page on the internet that you can access anytime to find a spot that fits your availability.  Anything from bring a dessert, salad, veggie, casserole, whatever!  I’m certain she’ll be able to explain it better than me, but our hope is that anyone desiring to bless what the Lord is doing over here could do so in a way that easily fits your budget and time!  I can’t explain what a blessing this would be to me!!! 

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN GIVING THIS WAY….would you please reply just saying, SEND ME MORE INFO –I’M INTERESTED!  (And feel free to pass this out to anyone I may have missed.)  Like I said, you could give one time, every couple weeks, whatever.   How cool is this….the Lord literally sent someone to my home a couple weeks ago to give us a FREE DEEP FREEZE!  So now you could  drop off at your convenience and it could be in the freezer waiting!  He’s amazing!

Alright, I could go on forever but will refrain!  God is good and greatly to be praised!  He loves these kids so much more than we do and it is an honor to co-labor with HIM!   It is so awesome to see these kids experiencing His love in ways that we are certain will effect their lives for years to come.  Please continue praying for us!  He is the source of all good things! 

Much much love to you!

Life together

We've been so busy I haven't had time to write but thought you would enjoy some fun shots!

God is doing such amazing things among our family.  We have lots of projects in the works that we can't wait to share with you!  Construction has begun again on our 24/7 prayer house and we are about to begin our sustaining mini-farm garden!  Say a prayer---our labor hands are full of energy!!!!

Thx for the shirt Bella!

Wow, did you know that if you are ever LOOKING to be treated like a freak, you should wear a t-shirt that says, "I Love Jesus"?

For Mother's Day my husband took my kids shopping to buy me something.  Sweet 5 year old Bella decided on a gorgeous pink t-shirt with the words, "I love Jesus" across the front.

I LOVED it and was so excited to wear it!  Can I just tell you that over and over my mind has been boggled by the reactions to this shirt?!  I would not believe it if someone had told me this would be the case! 

You may think I'm talking about non-believers, but honestly I'm talking equally about Believers in Jesus Christ as well as non-believers.  Here are my conclusions (assumptions? I must admit) 

non-believers look at you like, "Uh oh, run", "Bless her heart" (which is often the NICE way both Christians and non Christians say, "idiot" ha!) ....these really don't bother me so much.  Anyone that knows me well, knows that being around non-believers does not intimidate me at all....in fact I prefer their company to the religious!  

But the Christians even freak out!  Now THIS cracks me up!  Like, "Why must she wear it so bold?" or they act like they didn't even see it.  

I gladly admit that over the past year or so, (pre t-shirt) I have become a sold-out believer that the Jesus in you should be WAY more evident by how you ACT than what you say or wear...but I never dreamed a shirt that boasts about the One who has changed EVERYTHING about my life would bring such controversy!   The last time I wore the shirt, I said to myself, "I think they'd all be more comfortable with me wearing a shirt that said, "I love Barney!"

One last note, while I'm in this mode, ha....

Tonight I was pretty blown away an encounter.  

I am a border-line, no I'll admit it....addict to fountain drinks.  While this is pretty much frustrating me for health reasons, it has had a very unexpected perk!  The guy, Sean, at the closest convenience store and I have become great friends.  Every time I walk in, he shouts, "AHhhhh my favorite customer!"  (yeah, I know he probably says this to everyone but it's cool with me :)  

Sean is from Pakistan and is a devout Muslim.  He is about the nicest guy you'll ever meet.  So positive, outgoing and educated.  About a month ago, he asked me what I believed (no, I wasn't wearing my shirt ;) ha.  I told him that Jesus Christ had absolutely turned my hopeless life into something I could never have accomplished on my own.  That now I had something that no circumstance or person could ever take away from me....real JOY and peace.  And you know what?  That didn't change his treatment towards me whatsoever.  I love it.  

So over the past year or so, (pre-tshirt) I have come to some pretty strong conclusions about my faith.  I believe that Jesus modeled something for us that the Western church has almost completely forgotten.  R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P!!!

From my own experience being raised in church...now I know this will offend many but I must be honest about MY experience....church has been way more about GATHERING information and strategy to get people to OUR church.  

May I be so bold as to say, "How dare we?"  

This is not what MY Jesus modeled!  He didn't sit at the temple and demand that people change their ways and then come to where He was!  He went to them IN LOVE.  He showed extreme compassion!  He sat, spent time and ate with those that the 'religious' would NEVER entertain.  In fact, the only ones He was harsh with WERE the religious scholars who thought themselves holier than others and loaded them down with unattainable standards!

Back to my story about Sean tho....sorry about that Dennis Miller rant.....i lost myself!  

So tonight, after months of hanging out with Sean, introducing him to my kids, etc I went to get a drink and took him a couple home-made brownies.  His eyes lit up, "You MADE these?!"  Yep, don't let that scare you! ha!  

While I'm talking to him this man walks in and pretty matter of factly asks Sean, "Where are you from?"  Sean replied Pakistan.  The man asked, "What language do you speak?"  Sean rattled off several (man, I'm jealous!) but not including Spanish.  

Then the man turns to me and says, "Well, I know that YOU know Him (doning the shirt) and here you go."  And flips Sean and I both a silver coin and walked out.  I was like, "Huh?  What was that?!"  

I looked down at the coin and I kid you not the coin was a message about Jesus in SPANISH!

I'm doing a lot better about not judging people, but come on!  Righteous anger is ok huh? lol.

People, we as Believers must get a grip.  Until we value the PERSON and a RELATIONSHIP with them more than resting our head on the pillow= certain that we 'checked' off the 'Christians witness box'....we are fooling ourselves!  

Whew, jumping off the box....sorry about that, well maybe not.  I'm really passionate about LIVING His love.  

People don't care what you KNOW till they know you CARE.

Produce from God

Today my son Ethan, 8 made the most amazing observation.  He goes, “Mom, lately everyone we meet , it seems like they want to do something for the kids.”  I stopped walking and had to smile.  You’re right E.

You see, about a month ago, I came to a place where I was LOVING what we were doing but honestly I was pretty worn out, more physically than anything.  I was running our family home, you know - groceries, laundry, school, homework, lessons, housework, you name it and trying to keep our times with the kids consistent and full.  This included- regular phone calls, driving them and their families places, grocery shopping to cook for 20+, planning something for us to do and talk about, phoning those that help us out to try to keep us all in touch, etc!  Please don’t take any of that as griping…I had NO DOUBT that God had called us to be a regular part of their lives, but I was tired and feeling like I was doing everything half way! 

When I went to Mexico a month ago I had a great time with God.  It seems like sometimes we have to get away from all the NOISE to really hear Him uninterrupted.  Which, for a mom---when does THAT happen?! Ha!  While I was away the Lord did such a work in my heart.  He confirmed in many ways that what we were doing WAS His idea and not ours.  Whew, that’s really important to me.  But I also began to see, as I suspected, HOW we were doing a lot of things that were more OUR idea than His.  I didn’t sense displeasure, just that it was causing a burden He didn’t intend. 

So what do you do with that? 

I did all that I usually know to do.

PRAY!  “Ok, Lord, really really GLAD this is YOUR idea.  Now will you please send all the resources that YOU have intended for what we are doing?!?!  THANKS! “ (Probably a little longer but not much J)

That was a month ago. 

Would you like to hear just a few of the stories of His faithfulness!?

Well, when I got home I was talking to a friend and TOTALLY out of character I just poured out a frustration of mine and asked her to pray with me.  You see, I’m a TERRIBLE cook.  Not only that, I DON’T like to cook!  So not only was I shopping for meals that I don’t know how to cook, I was grumbling WHILE cooking them, and then serving this gunk to an understandably not very eager group.  Then I’d grumble some more while I dumped all this wasted nasty food.  Honest huh? 

Turns out, God loves our honesty!  Like He doesn’t know what we’re doing and how we feel anyway?! Ha! 

Less than ONE day later a family calls offering to provide the food for our group that week.  I was dying laughing!  Oh but of COURSE you can!  It was delicious and totally freed me up to be ME while I was with the kids!  Not over the stove grumbling, oh brother!

A few days later another couple calls and says, “We feel like God put it on our heart to provide food for your next gathering.  Would that be ok?! “  Now, I’m cracking up!  Oh God, do You just laugh at us when we are surprised by Your faithfulness?!”

So the next week, that family not only provides the food but they came, stayed and fellowshipped with the group….rapping and all.  At the end of the night, they said, we’d like to do this for you every other week until God says something different.

There are so many other stories I could tell.  And hopefully I’ll put them in other entries but fast forward to what led my son to make that comment today.

A last minute change of plans landed me and 5 kids at Hunter Park.  While they were running around playing I was reading a book, TRYING to catch up on something when the Holy Spirit prompted me, “HELLO JULZ, you are missing a gorgeous day, kids playing and strangers all around with your nose in that book!”  I was like, “Hmmm, O….K…..” closed the book and took like 3 steps, seriously!  When a guy goes, “Whatcha reading?” 

Gotta be honest in my mind I was thinking, Oh man, when I tell Him the title he’s going to think, “Oh great, one of THOSE!”  But instead he says, “Tell me what it’s about sounds good!”  That began the most beautiful hour of sharing!!!

Long story short, this couple has been healed by the Lord of 2 very serious diseases.  He shared with me that the Lord had led them to fast and pray and when they did, He encouraged them to focus on what they were putting INTO their body.  This led to a journey that now has them growing organic produce and co-op’ing it. 

Then I shared with them a bit about our journey the Lord has us on.  As I shared I could tell that they were both getting overwhelmd and kinda jabbing each other.  Turns out the Lord has been telling them to look for poor children that they could tithe produce to.  Hmmm, you guessed it!  We GLADLY accepted!

Now tell me, I had NO CLUE even 30 minutes before that I would be going to Hunter Park that day.  It’s on the other side of town for crying out loud! 

We may feel a huge responsibility to plan our days for the Lord but today I am overwhelmed with His ability to order the steps of the righteous.  That His Word IS a lamp onto my feet and a light onto my path even when I don’t see what lies ahead.

Thank you Lord for being You and loving us so very much.

 

Our God IS....

New Season #1

So much going on lately it seems hard to back track and try to refollow the trail enough to report!  I'll do my best to string the highlights together.  

It's all for the glory of Jesus Christ!.....

Well, a few weeks ago I was reading one night and I felt like the Lord laid something on my heart. 

 That is was time to begin GOING TO the kids house to meet instead of bringing them to our house each week.  

Of course, when God tells you something like that (at least for me!)  I still roll it around in my reasoning a bit before just accepting it and responding.  One day I'll hopefully learn this really slows the process down! ha

So I was thinking, "Hmm, ok Lord, what does THAT look like and how does THAT happen?!"

I had a lot of excitement about it but some reservations too.  What would MY family, husband think about this major change?  What would the kids think?  How in the world would these parents ever agree to bringing the chaos into their home!?"....these were just a few.  As I just typed those reservations, I realized they are mostly based on what others would think.   That kind of thinking isn't going to get far in moving forward in faith! hmm

So, about 10 minutes later I call Chris saying, "Ok, now I know I'm famous for crazy ideas, but just listen to me and then brainstorm with me ok?!"  I shared with him and he was silent.  I was like, "Uh oh..."  He goes, "Julz, God's been telling ME the SAME THING!"  I don't know what you call that... but I call it confirmation!

Green light city.  Just need to know it was God and not me and I'm all in!

Just in case that wasn't enough confirmation, I finally got the nerve up to call the mom about the idea.  "Hey how do you feel about us (min of 20 people) crashing your house every Thursday for awhile?"  Yeah, I was a bit nervous but I knew I had to try!

She seriously says, "BRING IT!"  

And that's how His newest church began. 

We've now had 2 weeks meeting in their home.  The nights have included lots of food (sent by workers that we are praying like crazy for and He is bringing in all on His own!) , lots of football, bball, snowball/slush/football this week, giving Him PRAISE and bragging all about Him- rapstyle, countless testimonies of God sightings in each of our lives and so much more.

I'm so glad to know that He doesn't get tired of me.  Lately, I'm bombarding Him with questions.  Several times a day, I can sense Him saying, "Oh little one, ONE step at a time.  I'm with you.  Just chill!"  Ok, the chill part was totally me but it makes me laugh.

Already we've outgrown this apartment.  Last night we had 30+.  Good problem huh?!  

As I was driving home last night pretty high, I told Him, "That was the best church service I've ever been to! I wish everyone could experience that!"  I felt like He said, "I've got pockets of this going on all over the place!  Enjoy the one you're in."  

I'm going to do my best to journal this journey. 

Late last night, my husband and I were sitting at the counter kinda bleary eyed, hungry and shoving food in our mouths (there were so many people we weren't sure the food would be enough!  and yes we prayed for Him to multiply it!!!)  All of the sudden we both just started praising and thanking Him for what He was doing.  The coolest part of our prayer time was the sense that HIS PRESENCE was still AT THE APARTMENT accomplishing things we could never.  

Oh Lord, invade the dark places!  We invite your Holy Spirit to love, comfort, encourage, tear down, rebuild, and basically ruin us for anything less than a life consumed with passionately following Your lead.

Special Entry

Kordero Lee Coleman 

1993-2008

A boy who loved to make people laugh.

Honestly, I never considered the fact that I would soon be writing an entry honoring one of our kids lives.  It still doesn't seem real.  On Sunday night, Kordero was in the wrong place at the wrong time and became the innocent victim of a shooting.

I remember meeting Kordero about a year and a half ago now.  A few of us were going out every week into the center of Fairmont Terrace at 61st & Peoria every Tuesday to hang out with any kids or adults that were interested and following whatever the Lord led us to do.  We were out on the grass playing all kinds of sports with a bunch of kids.  Frisbees were flying, soccer balls were sailing and some bubbles were being blown.  A group of about 5 older boys walked up.  "What's going on?"  (Honestly it was probably, Whatchoo guys doin?' :)   

I remember just smiling, introducing myself and asking their names.  They looked at me like all the older kids and adults do out there, "What the heck is this stupid white lady doing out here?"  It was Kordero, his brother Kurtis and some of their buddies.  I was so glad they stuck around.  I remember what pleased me the most was that they immediately gravitated to the guys who were with us, throwing and kicking balls.  They didn't really care WHAT we were doing, just that we wanted to be with them.  

For the next couple months, Kordero would always come by, "Man, Coach Julz, we can't stay, we have Boy Scouts but we just wanted to say Hey!  He always tried to pull off that "we're too old for this little kid stuff" ... but they always 'stopped by'.  

Over the next year, Kordero and his brother and sister started coming to the church I was going to.  Kordero and Kurtis were the ultimate test...they ALWAYS walked themselves there - rain or shine - and they ALWAYS started problems as far as 'following the rules'.  Their sister did too.  At the drop of a hat, you would hear, "Shoot!  I'm outta here!"  and off they'd go, right out the door.  This was during the time I was very new to this crowd and heck I had NO IDEA what to do!  Somehow I'd always manage to do the best I could to show them love and pray they would come back.  They always did.

I've had a real struggle this week over something though.  After several months of 'starting problems' with the church kids, they were asked not to come back for awhile.  They never did.  It wasn't all the church's fault, things were REALLy crazy for them at home at this time and between the two that was it.  They didn't keep coming.

This past summer I got to spend some time with them though at their apartment.  They were so funny, every time I would knock they'd yell, "WHO IS IT!?!"  I'd shout, "Coach Julz!"  They'd shout back, "HANG ON!"  They'd run put some clothes on and fling the door open with a hug.  "COME IN!"  We'd hang out, watch tv and just chat.  We got to take them fishing, swimming and other stuff this past summer and get to know them.  

They truly were the 'ultimate test'.  Not ONCE did they cause a problem when they were with us.   

After Kordero passed away his mom said, "Coach Julz, I know they gave you a hard time and I'm so sorry bout that.  But you never cared did you?"  

Nope.  Did they make me mad?  HECK YES!  But it was so easy to see this....

If those 2 boys knew someone loved them- they were FULL of respect and gave the love right back.  I can seriously remember times when Kordero would charge at me and give me the most full frontal bear hug you've ever seen.  Afterwards, I'd think, "Oh crap, I remember in leadership training, they told me not to hug boys like that!"  ha!  And while there IS a lot of wisdom to that....it just was never like that.  Kordero LOVED being LOVED.

I used to joke with him, DadGommit Kordero! "WHY DID YOU GET THOSE PERFECTLY LONG CURLED EYELASHES AND I'VE GOT THIS MESS?"  He'd be like, "Oh shoot Coach Julz, don't say that!  Geez!"  ha, I'm laughing still.

I never dreamed that two nights ago I'd be resting my hands on his bandaged head while he breathed through a ventilator fighting for his life.

I don't have the 'program' that works.  I don't know how to get them to 'assimilate' and PLEASE don't take ANY of this story to focus on me.  What really happened was the LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST managed to do something to this boy who's shell let few see who he really was.

I'll see you soon Kordero...

Entry #14

Sometimes when everything seems to go wrong and exactly the opposite of what we were hoping for, we have to believe that God is still at work and His timing is perfect.  I like to say, I see the tip of an ice burg while He sees the universe.

Last week, I had extremely high hopes of getting the opportunity to pray with one of the girls we hang with and introduce her to His love personally.  Long story short, I didn't plan for a couple kids to show up stoned and disrespectful.  Kinda altered MY mood and the mood of many others.  

In fact, after the night was over I had to call a close friend of mine and just let it all hang out.  I very rarely allow myself to vent like that, but she just kept encouraging me to get it out, God can hack it.  So I did.

One of the kids that was stoned really has my heart.  I think about this kid all the time.  I have been praying a real specific prayer for quite awhile now "That He would give me His eyes to see what HE sees in other people.  Not the surface, failures, clothes, attitudes, etc....but the GOD in them."  Well, I see LOTS of God in this kid.  He IS going to be a major leader in his generation.

But after this night, when everyone had left, I just kind of cleaned up the house really slamming things around and questioning lots of what we are doing.  I wanted to just call him up and lay into him like, "Man, why do you come when you're all screwed up?!  You DONT HAVE TO you know?!" But I just couldn't do it.

So several nights later, I was thinking about it all again and the Lord stirred up such an excitement in me for this kid.  It was like He was letting me see just how much He loves him.  Just how much He has planned for him and gave me this supernatural understanding of how important it was to just love the snot out of him and encourage him.

So, I called him up.  Actually we had a texting war for about an hour while I'm certain he was wrapping up whoever he was with so that we could talk in private.  As I heard the phone finally ringing I just started praying, "Ok God, YOU talk.... I've got no clue what to say TO him."

We chatted for about 5 minutes about Christmas and the past few days and then it was like, wham!  I found myself opening up to him about my struggles.  Some of the things and areas I'm weak in.  He was like, "Coach Julz, I didn't know you dealt with stuff like that!'  

Long story short....we talked for an hour.  I told him about some of my dreams.  About how much I cared for him.  That the thing that made me so sad when he showed up confused the other night was that I couldn't really TALK with him about stuff and how much I love talking to him.  We talked about his dreams.  His struggles.  I told him about a trip to Mexico I'm about to take.  He said he would be praying for me every day.  He even told me that if we ever live in the apartments or have a hang out there (MY DREAM) he would be there every day and bring all his friends.

Yeah, I don't know what exactly we're doing.... but I am learning a few things.

Sometimes what seems to be a blow... leads to the breakthrough you're praying for.

I love you Lord.  

Help me to believe.