does God still talk?

does God still talk?

that is what we are asking our kiddos.

what do YOU think?

i think that over the last 2 years i've become so desperate to HEAR HIM talk that I began assuming everyone else was too. as we comfort people around us that are going through all kinds of trials, i'm finding that's not the case.

the other day God put it on my heart to gather 3 teenage girls together and talk about God. not just talk about Him but talk TO Him and listen for what He said back. as usual, one of their comments made me smile so big b/c kids just have a way of saying what most adults don't have the balls to say.

after 20 minutes of just being quiet and listening for God one of them says, "julz, I don't know how to hear His voice." she didn't try to mask it with all the other things she could have said, she just said the truth. in that moment, i realized THIS is exactly how most people feel and exactly how i felt a couple years ago.

can i just tell you that hearing God's voice has practically become like catching my breath. it has so become my source of strength that i get scared imaging what it would be like to not hear Him. didn't David talk about that? i'm going to look up those verses and insert them here.

well, normally i would never write about this for fear that it would sound prideful like, "of course I hear the Lord, DONT YOU?!!?!" oh man, if that is AT ALL what you are sensing, please hear me out.

everyday i still have the internal struggle of deciphering, 'was that ME?', 'was that dream the 5 oreos i inhaled before bed?', or was that God? really i DO! but if you can relate at all to where i was 2 years ago, or where this beautiful honest teen was- i want to tell you what i believe helped me jump into the exhilarating, adventurous, life giving waters that ARE my strength.

i began making a conscious choice to not just believe in my HEAD but also in my ACTIONS the verses that say....

John 10:. ³The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. ⁴When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. ⁵But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice.

so i guess i made a choice...."Lord, i know who You are in my head, but i'm ready to not only know you in my heart but to hear and feel You leading me thru this CRAZY thing called life. i know i'll mess up, i know i'll get off track, but talk to me, teach me Your voice so that i will be more familiar with YOUR voice than any other voice."

wish i could tell you i'm batting 100 but yeah, not so. honestly, what i'm practicing now is learning how to hear Him and then also hear what to do with what He says. when i first started hearing Him, i got so excited i ran all over the place telling anyone that walked by me. now i'm learning that He also wants to show us what to do with what He tells us. whew!

in that honest teen, the beauty that struck me was, "i WANT to hear HIM." i think that has to be first. however, there are people like paul in the Bible that DIDN'T want to hear Him and had no choice but to accept that He is alive and talking. but for most of us, our stinkin world is SOOOOO loud and busy that to hear Him is almost impossible!

the other night we sat down with all the kiddos and i had recorded several different voices saying the same message. on top of the recordings, i also had a tv going, a radio playing, and obviously THEY were making their own fair share of noise. so the first test was, who is voice #1? mind u the kids were talking, the tv was on, and the radio was cranked. as they realized the challenge they were like, 'Turn off the tv, turn down the radio, everyone SHUT UP!' ha.

how true is that for us? FOR ME!

if i desperately want to know what God is telling me to do, do i shut down all those things or expect Him to blast them all out?! this is a daily challenge for me.

let me just close this with what happened to me yesterday.

all day long, i had been wanting to have some time alone and quiet with God but as usual the demands of our world kept crashing in and taking precedent. finally, about 1 in the afternoon, isaiah was sleeping, bella was playing dollhouse, and i had a few minutes before i had to leave to pick up ethan. the laundry was undone, the dishes were everywhere and i was unshowered. i was rushing across the living room when all of the sudden i thought, "stop the insanity! if i dont just STOP, i'll NEVER have time!"

so i was standing in the middle of the living room and my next thought was, "Ok, i'll turn on some music to get 'in the mode' even that was yet another thing to do, find my ipod, pick a song, etc.

so i resisted and just started talking. 'God i NEED You. more than anything i NEED YOU." it's not always like this but yesterday it was, a wave of emotion barreled over me. it had NO guilt in it, no 'yeah, boy, do u ever need ME!', no 'well, do the right thing and then I'm here" it was just, "I'm HERE JULIE!"

honestly, i couldnt even begin to tell you all the things that my heart heard and felt in the next 10 minutes (yeah, i didn't go too deep, ha) but MAN, did it change the rest of my day! it was the reminder that Someone much greater lives outside of our sphere and is available to us 24/7/365. that all i have to do is still myself and listen.

do u crave that? if not crave, do u ever find yourself wishing u had the $ for counseling? man, i know i do! guys, the ultimate Counselor is at your disposal all the time. you don't have to be living right to hear Him. you don't have to 'know how' to hear Him. you just need to recognize your want and be still. i promise, He does the rest. and the cool thing is that He knows each of us in our uniqueness SO well that we each hear Him different. i get pictures. my friend gets verses. another friend usually hears one word over and over. my point is, just begin practicing.

it is a 'fix' you'll never be able to live without again.

i promise.

our summer

wow, it's been toooooo long since I've updated this!  forgive me.  life throws a few curve balls from time to time.

june 30th my dad passed away.  one of my very best friends.  i better not get started or i'll start bawling or preaching but just know, it has been a summer i'll never forget.

in light of that though, it's interesting....

for the past 3 years, i've been walking along doing my very best to follow God's call on my life.  you know, loving those around me, learning to love myself, and to use the gifts God's given me to further His ETERNAL kingdom.  for 2 years now, i can honestly say, it has become pretty obvious that God has given my husband and i an annointing to love on the down and out, especially kids.  so we've altered our lifestyle and done our best to sacrifice comfort for the sake of HIS kingdom and His children.  it had gotten to a place of 'no-brainer'.  i wasn't finding myself contemplating everyday (shallow but true) what my life would be like if i could just be a 'soccer mom'.  all these kids we love on had become a true part of our family and making time for them no longer felt like 'ministry'.  ugh i hate the use of that word most days.  

anyway, on june 30th this year, when my dad died, my world went spinning.  it was such a shock to us that i found myself in literal FROZEN mode.  breathe....just breathe.....that's about all i could think for a couple weeks.  for those 2 weeks we didn't meet with the kiddos and i didn't even call them.  i just didn't have it in me.  honestly, that scared me.  my inner thoughts were like, "oh no, am i losing that part of my life?  will i ever be able to go back?"  while those thoughts scared me, they weren't strong enough to make me pick up the phone and check on them and let them know I was ok.  while i know this is very 'ministry incorrect'.....it was just where i was.  i was barely doing my own 3 kids.  

so, as depressing as all that may sound....i'm genuinely thankful to tell you that the Lord is crazy faithful.  He has truly worked all things together for good.  while i am still grieving my dad and unsure of God's timing in his death, i am witnessing the fruit of drawing closer to God in times of uncertainty.  

week 3 after my dad passed we met with the kids for the first time.  i wasn't sure if i had it in me.  oh the body of Christ is such a beautiful thing.  several people from our house church simply surrounded us and took care of EVERY detail....making it possible for me to just 'show up'.  the kiddos were amazing.  their genuine love, compassion and respect for me and my family during that time showed me just how FAMILY we are.  

it has now been 2 months since my dad's passing.  i'm learning so much about grieving.  i could literally write a book and will spare you, but suffice to say, HIS POWER IS PERFECTED IN OUR WEAKNESS!  

God doesn't NEED me, He desires to be made known thru me.  the good, the bad and the ugly.  human is all i'll ever be but please dont mistake my God, the God inside of ME,  is so much bigger than me.  He is on the move among these kids like never before.  They are HUNGRY to hear His voice.  He is whispering to them and they are listening and responding!  

A long time ago, i wrote a journal entry about what a FAMILY is.  I'm not going to pull it out to quote it but it was along the lines of .....real, growing, loving, hurtful at times, changing, forgiving, imperfect, and belonging.  

that is what i've found.  

by opening our family to include many ages and races we have blessed God and ourselves.   children and adults of all ages that gather together every thursday night have made it possible for God to love me thru this season.  over and over, i had to resist the urge to isolate myself and instead allow myself to be real and needy.  they in all their beautiful ways have proven to me that GOD IS LOVE.

now that i've finally gotten this post out of the way (it was one i procrastinated b/c i was dreading it-ugh) i'll hopefully blog more often.  God is SO on the move among this big family and hopefully it will bring you some encouragement.

if i can leave you with one thing to ponder....

whether you believe it or not, you were created for a PURPOSE.  

there are people around you that WILL be influenced by your life one way or the other. 

i am so thankful that the testimonies of my dad's influence are still pouring in.  

your life is important.  

YOU are awesome.  

you have a DAD that is madly in love with you and available in every moment.

perfection should never be the goal.....

growing closer to HIM should.

the rest works itself out.