Entry #3

It's been fun writing about how the Lord began to open my eyes.  Not only am I reliving some amazing memories, but I've found myself thinking about it throughout the day.  Yesterday when I sat down to write, I felt a tugging at my Spirit.  

I sat still for a moment to talk with God about it.  Then and there, He reminded me, that even the task of writing about this journey must be done IN HIM.  To not take this task upon myself and to simply allow Him to retell the stories through me.  Enjoy the process Julie, dont be so focused on the end result.

Isn't He just amazing?  I don't know about you ...but so often I find myself moving full steam ahead with all the things I can do for Him.  Before I know it, it's all about me again.  Yuck.  

With that said, I sit here again asking Him, what do You want me to share? 

 

Here goes...

The last two entries have been about how the Lord led me into discovering my heart for these community kids and my deep desire to love them like He does.  That all began in 2006.  It's now the end of 2008.  

I'm going to summarize the rest of that 'school year' community class by saying that every Wednesday night got more and more exciting.  I remember racking my brain every week for God to give me ideas about how to make His Word come alive to these kids and ways to create atmospheres that would allow them to experience His love and then describe it.  I remember one night I decorated the ceilings with balloons with little messages inside.  I think the idea was to have them 'work together' in teams to discover how much more could be accomplished by WORKING TOGETHER for Him.  (Wow, team building was a constant neccesity!)  Anyway, the game was a joke....they destroyed just about every piece of school property they touched. Live and learn.    Success is getting up one more time than you fall down.

Another night, I remember having them just lay down (5 ft away from their neighbor so they couldn't smack each other!) and listen to music.  Don't know if you've ever heard of Jason Upton, but he has an amazing way of just singing in the Spirit forever.  They were sooo skeptical of the idea at first but after a couple minutes, I just sat there with tears rolling down my cheeks.  These kids really wanted to know Him.  I think by this point they could tell I really dug Him and it wasn't just about 'teaching them lessons for stickers'.  I could watch their little angry bodies one by one begin to relax and really listen.  I've always clung to what the Holy Spirit said to me that night, "It's all beginning with these kids Julie."  Little did I know what that meant but it sure did deposit some peace in me.

Over the next 6 months, I got in so much trouble.  I wasn't trying to, but I broke all the rules.  One night, I left the kids unattended while I chased a boy out of the building.  As I was running I said,  "You can leave but I will always love you and welcome you back." He stopped dead in his tracks.  He was angry about a little discipline I had given him and went into 'autopilot' mode.  "No one tells ME what to do, I'm outta here!"  The simple words, "I love you.  You're always welcome here." messed with him.  After he froze, I just walked back to see if the other kids had killed each other yet (they had only mildly maimed each other) and a few minutes later he came walking back in. Head hanging low, not wanting to talk about it, was his way of signaling to me that he didn't really want to leave.  No words were necessary.  Man, my heart was smilin!

Another night, towards the end of the school year,  I wanted them to understand how humble and servant like Jesus was.  I played a clip from a movie that showed Jesus washing the feet of his disciples at the Last Supper.   I almost never cry but when the clip finished it was all I could do.  After I pulled my little bit of cool together,  I began explaining to them that in this life Jesus wants us to know His love SO much that we naturally begin to serve others as an outpouring of gratitude for what He has done for us.  In their home environments this is pretty unheard of.  You take what you can get - while you can get it....period.  If you're the youngest in the home, you're basically screwed.  So to watch them listening to this and really taking it in was quite a sight.  

So I told them, if they would let me, I really wanted to wash their feet.  Of course, there were a couple expected giggles and "nasty!" comments, but one by one, they willingly allowed me to do so.  While I washed their feet I prayed for each of them.  That He would bless them, make Himself known to them, and always be with them to show them where to go.  They were so reverent it kinda freaked me out!  Now they were in a long line waiting for their turn.  Once again, I had broken another rule, we were way past time to get out of class and the kids were giving up their bball time in the gym to wait for their turn!  As we finished, I told them all how much I loved them and began to pack up my stuff.  I noticed 2 of them whispering to each other and then they finally came over to share what was going on.  They wanted to wash MY feet and pray for ME!  You've never seen flip flops come off so fast.  As they began to wash my feet, the other kids that were just sitting back watching, one by one began to circle around me and lay their hands on me and take turns praying!  

I was forever ruined.  

No longer was I loving them.  THEY were loving me.  And He was loving us all.

By writing all of this I am reminded of what He is constantly showing me.  When we feel like we are being called to 'sacrifice' we need to be prepared to be blessed.  We may not always be able to see the blessing, but more often than not He is really leading us into a situation where WE will be the one served.  

I am so thankful that He wired me to be drawn to children.  They are so much easier than adults.  They are quick to forgive, overlook most mistakes, and are always aching for love.

Thank you Father for these children.  

We love You so much.